I've been thinking a lot recently on missing, and what does it mean? Right now I am missing home more than I thought I would, I am missing my brother, sister in law, sister, mom and dad as well as the five dogs around. I am also really missing that my oldest brother is on work release and I haven't seen him in a few years. I want to see who he is becoming and the man I always knew was there behind all the pain. God has been good and faithful in his life, all of me wants to see the change. But those are things far that if I decided tomorrow I couldn't handle being away from them I could get to them, but what about all the other things I miss or rather feel like I'm missing out on? Can I miss them too, where is the balance between living in the present, future and past?
Right now I feel like I'm learning to trust God with my life. I have no idea what or where he is taking me and most of me is scared. The biggest trust I am having to let go is knowing that even though I am on the other side of the country I will still be close to my family and friend from home. I am not very good at keeping in contact, I fall easily into living my daily life and knowing the people in this moment. For example I started this blog thinking it would be a good idea to keep some people updated on what I was doing far away, but once I got adjusted how quickly I left. It's a sign that I am happier in New England, but I still need to keep my ties to home strong. Where is the balance?
How much can I am miss before it becomes unhealthy? Let me enjoy what has been given to me today, is what I am truly trying to learn.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
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